Boredom is getting the better of me...drivin me into depression mode..causing sleepless nights..thinking about what could have been...what should have been..what will be...n the worst part..comfort food seems to be tasteless and days seem to be dull...
News after news it keeps on getting worst...not only for me...but for ppl around me...i cant stop but to think about..ppl that are not suppose to matter anymore...events that altered the course of my life...materialistic things that should not have an monetary...or sentimental value..yet..that's all i can think about...
the biggest fear i had since i was a kid...is actually being alone...as in really alone..and now...i am...or am i??..maybe wats in front of me this all this time..are the ppl that i needed the most...yeah i know its diff...i know it is...maybe its because i cant take the fact that things are changing not for the better...or izit because...things that i thought i would have ...or ppl that i would thought i would be with...
Things or ppl are bound to let u dwn...tats wat i told myself...coz..so far...that's true..and without realizing it..i let ppl dwn too..so know m thinking...wat am i..who am i...wat have i done...do i mean sumthin...its kinda freaky wen u think about it...
Ppl change...n the worst part..for a reason that they dont even know..we'll always here...be yourself...that's ure true identity...not...then why change...izit to change to be accepted...or izit to chamge to make ureself happy..or izit to change for sacrifice??...or even for love...wat do u mean be yourself wen everyday..evrybody wants to be somebody...u gotta do this..u gotta do that...u gotta do it this way..or that way...why???....
These days...i do know why i feel this way...i do know how to get out of it..but i dont know why am i stuck???...maybe i do know...i hate this part right here..
Life as it is..as we all know it..its full of surprises..nothing is for sure....and know one will truly be happy...
Well..thats all for now dear reader...more to come soon..have a rockin merry new year.. -peace out-
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
It's Been awhile Part 2
I'm back peeps...so here's the scoop...in short...workin in Hyatt Regency..so far okok....before that..was a liaison officer for team Guam during the IRB World 7 series..awesome 2 weeks...met many ppl of diff origins and made many new frens..TEAM GUAM rocks!!!!!
Enough of that...i wanna get dwn on a few things on my mind... First....(do for give if i am out of line...rude...or dwn right asshole...but this how i see it and am just layin out the facts...so grow up!!!!)..muahahaha
there is an argument of who or wat god is..but it owez seems to be human...either a man...or a woman...so we shall just call 'it' tranny for now... So does that make god a tranny with a lolipop in its hand and created earth to be filled with human beings as a sick joke just to see how one's true nature can actually explain why are we here?? Or is the almighty a kid with cookies and milk to see how human beings being actually animals but with the capacity to actually use our brains to decide on morality...to have intelligence...to act practical and have intellect ????? Being so...i can say...behalf of the human race...Dear God...u made a shitty decision on creating us humans...look at the world now...65000 years ago before the first human....the world was very un-evolved as us humans say it...but then again...the world wasnt dying...
Then there's this thing....where they say its gods way of guiding us...or gods way of teaching us how to live our lives..that's right...religion....for those who have read my other blog..which i havent checked in 2 yrs...i wrote sumthin...and the feed back i got was kinda expected...welll...for free thinker like me...this is how i see it...religion is an overrated term used to confine...or constrict us humans to be bound ...we live in such a contradictory world..where at one part we believe in science..and the other we believe religion...and the funny part is..both at times go against each other.... example...we cant see air...but its there..coz there are experiments to prove it..same as gravity...then there is god...it is there...coz??????????...it is there la...its written in the bible...the sunskrit..the quran....and many other terms for the holy book...but think about it..why are so weak that we must believe wat ever the holy book says...is the term weak..or as sum ppl say...accept the ways of the holy book with ure undying love for 'it'..?? Dosent really make sense... Then there's this part where religion was created by men..for men..to manipulate men...to follow other men...which actually does make sense...think about it...i aint gonna explain more..coz i wanna here ure feedback first..then i'll continue in the nxt blog...
Second......
The economy as it is right now...for Malaysia...pretty stable...the bullshit of the whole world in recession is total...or as i once heard from a arabic dude from saudi trippin british.."Poppy cock"....yeah yeah prices for consumer items such as food...clothes ,car..etc...has gone up...well...that's for the ppl who sell them to decide...they could have up the price a long time ago if they wanted to...but they just needed the right reason..then came the oil-hike...every motherjhot company in the world took advantage and hoped in the band wagon..and we idiots believe the bs and went with it...ppl don't get it that Malaysia is a third world country...so we wont be affected...those who say we are...prove it!!!!....and tell me...we loosin money bcoz??????..wat...recession??...total bs...think about it this way.....for a certain year..RM100 billion was allocated to a certain state to provide for the agriculture industry..within 2 mnths it was cut back to 60...or was it cut back???.there's a whole diff issue there....
Third
Politics these days around the world are focusing on 1 person...Barrack Obama...who now ppl criticize for actually causing more debt...yeah he is puttin US in more debt now....but remember this..he did warn evry1 that he's plans will take at lease 5 yrs just to see result..not freakin 5 mnths...dumbasses... And yes England is part of europe and is one the veto countries...but not using euro currency...so to whom m talkin about...before u brag that u lived in england for more then 10 years but dont know the local slang for money..which is quid...the effin brag dumbass....dear reader...i would love to talk about Malaysian Politics...but then again..there are no privacy laws in Malaysia...so hope to meet up and talk about it...but i will say this...the 1 Malaysia plan...poppy cock..it was in Sabah for the last 70 yrs or more..even before independence...and the day 1 Malaysia truly exist..is wen there are no political parties allocated only for certain races...wats the point ????..why cant i join umno???or my chinese fren join MIC...UPKO is starting to multi-racial becoz they dare to take that step...and for that..i applaud them..but here's the kicker...they say that...but they don't like it...coz they know...other races who joins UPKO gives a certain threat...only a few ppl that i know are open and matured enough....to accept the idea and practice the idea...ppl these days join politics for money..its the truth...evry1 wants allocation for tender...business...or land...which is irritating...instead of business...tackle these issues first u fcukin morons....education...transportation...and power supply....wats the biggest differences between us and singapore...they have a better education system...they have a better transportation system...and they btr power supply...they are feakin 10 times smaller then Sabah...5 times less populated then kelantan...and no natural resources...and yeat...we are the ones who are backwards...
Fourth
Social issues...the biggest one is global warming...and the dumbest way to go about it..is by actually switchin ure lights off for and hour..there for u have achieved 1 step closer to save the world...welll....bravo dumbasses...how the fcuk will that make a fcukin diff???....think la....and ppl went gaga and felt proud by doin it...olale...better be an ostrich la u...there are so many other efforts that we should take initiative to actually do...
The next issue is about the 5yr old girl who raped...murdered..trafficked and abused...Shaniya Davis..poor soul...may she rest in peace and to be nvr re-born in this world...full of injustice..hate...sick-minded ppl....famine...illness...and poverty.. Antionette Davis and Mario McNeill both do not deserve jail time..or even the death sentence...coz that will waste the ppl's money...and killin them is there easy way out...how nout confining them i 5x5 box filled with splinters then drop them in the sahara dessert...or sumthin like that...
Fifth
Enough of that...i wanna get dwn on a few things on my mind... First....(do for give if i am out of line...rude...or dwn right asshole...but this how i see it and am just layin out the facts...so grow up!!!!)..muahahaha
there is an argument of who or wat god is..but it owez seems to be human...either a man...or a woman...so we shall just call 'it' tranny for now... So does that make god a tranny with a lolipop in its hand and created earth to be filled with human beings as a sick joke just to see how one's true nature can actually explain why are we here?? Or is the almighty a kid with cookies and milk to see how human beings being actually animals but with the capacity to actually use our brains to decide on morality...to have intelligence...to act practical and have intellect ????? Being so...i can say...behalf of the human race...Dear God...u made a shitty decision on creating us humans...look at the world now...65000 years ago before the first human....the world was very un-evolved as us humans say it...but then again...the world wasnt dying...
Then there's this thing....where they say its gods way of guiding us...or gods way of teaching us how to live our lives..that's right...religion....for those who have read my other blog..which i havent checked in 2 yrs...i wrote sumthin...and the feed back i got was kinda expected...welll...for free thinker like me...this is how i see it...religion is an overrated term used to confine...or constrict us humans to be bound ...we live in such a contradictory world..where at one part we believe in science..and the other we believe religion...and the funny part is..both at times go against each other.... example...we cant see air...but its there..coz there are experiments to prove it..same as gravity...then there is god...it is there...coz??????????...it is there la...its written in the bible...the sunskrit..the quran....and many other terms for the holy book...but think about it..why are so weak that we must believe wat ever the holy book says...is the term weak..or as sum ppl say...accept the ways of the holy book with ure undying love for 'it'..?? Dosent really make sense... Then there's this part where religion was created by men..for men..to manipulate men...to follow other men...which actually does make sense...think about it...i aint gonna explain more..coz i wanna here ure feedback first..then i'll continue in the nxt blog...
Second......
The economy as it is right now...for Malaysia...pretty stable...the bullshit of the whole world in recession is total...or as i once heard from a arabic dude from saudi trippin british.."Poppy cock"....yeah yeah prices for consumer items such as food...clothes ,car..etc...has gone up...well...that's for the ppl who sell them to decide...they could have up the price a long time ago if they wanted to...but they just needed the right reason..then came the oil-hike...every motherjhot company in the world took advantage and hoped in the band wagon..and we idiots believe the bs and went with it...ppl don't get it that Malaysia is a third world country...so we wont be affected...those who say we are...prove it!!!!....and tell me...we loosin money bcoz??????..wat...recession??...total bs...think about it this way.....for a certain year..RM100 billion was allocated to a certain state to provide for the agriculture industry..within 2 mnths it was cut back to 60...or was it cut back???.there's a whole diff issue there....
Third
Politics these days around the world are focusing on 1 person...Barrack Obama...who now ppl criticize for actually causing more debt...yeah he is puttin US in more debt now....but remember this..he did warn evry1 that he's plans will take at lease 5 yrs just to see result..not freakin 5 mnths...dumbasses... And yes England is part of europe and is one the veto countries...but not using euro currency...so to whom m talkin about...before u brag that u lived in england for more then 10 years but dont know the local slang for money..which is quid...the effin brag dumbass....dear reader...i would love to talk about Malaysian Politics...but then again..there are no privacy laws in Malaysia...so hope to meet up and talk about it...but i will say this...the 1 Malaysia plan...poppy cock..it was in Sabah for the last 70 yrs or more..even before independence...and the day 1 Malaysia truly exist..is wen there are no political parties allocated only for certain races...wats the point ????..why cant i join umno???or my chinese fren join MIC...UPKO is starting to multi-racial becoz they dare to take that step...and for that..i applaud them..but here's the kicker...they say that...but they don't like it...coz they know...other races who joins UPKO gives a certain threat...only a few ppl that i know are open and matured enough....to accept the idea and practice the idea...ppl these days join politics for money..its the truth...evry1 wants allocation for tender...business...or land...which is irritating...instead of business...tackle these issues first u fcukin morons....education...transportation...and power supply....wats the biggest differences between us and singapore...they have a better education system...they have a better transportation system...and they btr power supply...they are feakin 10 times smaller then Sabah...5 times less populated then kelantan...and no natural resources...and yeat...we are the ones who are backwards...
Fourth
Social issues...the biggest one is global warming...and the dumbest way to go about it..is by actually switchin ure lights off for and hour..there for u have achieved 1 step closer to save the world...welll....bravo dumbasses...how the fcuk will that make a fcukin diff???....think la....and ppl went gaga and felt proud by doin it...olale...better be an ostrich la u...there are so many other efforts that we should take initiative to actually do...
The next issue is about the 5yr old girl who raped...murdered..trafficked and abused...Shaniya Davis..poor soul...may she rest in peace and to be nvr re-born in this world...full of injustice..hate...sick-minded ppl....famine...illness...and poverty.. Antionette Davis and Mario McNeill both do not deserve jail time..or even the death sentence...coz that will waste the ppl's money...and killin them is there easy way out...how nout confining them i 5x5 box filled with splinters then drop them in the sahara dessert...or sumthin like that...
Fifth
Relationships and love....well..all i can say is..on behalf of my frens...hope ure relationships last as long as u want them to be and stay happy..coz i know u deserve each other..in some way i think...as for me...FCUK IT!!!.....hehehe..those who have been talkin to in the past few weeks..tau suda...for others...there will be a time and place...
Well..thats all for now...more to come soon i guess..in the mean time..stay healthy..eat well...dun do be idiots peeps....tc..
Well..thats all for now...more to come soon i guess..in the mean time..stay healthy..eat well...dun do be idiots peeps....tc..
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Thins the way they are....
Life's a total mess now...i really hate it...for so many reasons...health being the main 1...going through it alone is so damn heart brakingly tiring and painful..coz during the daytime..i have frens..but still i feel alone..its way worst at night time...i cry..in and out..my sense of how things work or how things actually do makes sense seems to be failing...
I'm sick...decaying n withering away slowly...n i have to face it alone..tot i could have her..but she dose not want me...its heart aching to hear anything bout her..her name puts me in a state of depression....i love her..so much...or izit loved...i don't know...at times m at a straight mind tat without her..its better...but within an instant...m missing her so much...i tot at lease...she would be wit me..at lease spend sumtime wit me..i tot she understands..but then...its either her selfishness..or izit her fear of loving me again..i dunno...i want to forget...not because i dont love her...its because..it hurts so much to lover and not be with her...she ask me.."why me...i dont love u..why do this for me"...dosent she get it...with i'm going through..i still sacrifice for her..n it all went in vein...wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cry..i bleed...i'm depressed...i miss her...the sad truth is..i dun wanna go on fighting...illness..fate...or watever it is...i keep on telling myself.."focus on you"....but it dosent work...it hurts to be alone...know i understand ..the feeling of being alone...the feeling of not being wanted n abandoned.....i want my life back..i want to smile again..i want to be happy..i want to have a future....i want to be me again..but i cant...things are falling apart..n i have to face alone..n i know...millions of ppl are going through this..sum will say "things will b ok"..others " Life has to go on..n make the best out of it"..n then "ohwell...pray"...
It all fails...i need sum1...not any1...but sum1..to hold me...to be wit me..to say things tat mean sumthing n meant the world...not for pity..but for love..one of my closest fren said.."Use it as a guilt trip..but u'll nvr know wether she loves u onot"....pity is painful...i know 2 ppl who went through it...n it sux...they went through hell for that kinda love...i had the real thing..i lost it..i tried to get it back..but she didnt...so how?....neway...this blog aint all bout love...its also about wat i need the most...Time...for evrything...to slow dwn...so i can put the pieces of my life together...n solve the puzzle..which is" What do i want?"
I'm sick...decaying n withering away slowly...n i have to face it alone..tot i could have her..but she dose not want me...its heart aching to hear anything bout her..her name puts me in a state of depression....i love her..so much...or izit loved...i don't know...at times m at a straight mind tat without her..its better...but within an instant...m missing her so much...i tot at lease...she would be wit me..at lease spend sumtime wit me..i tot she understands..but then...its either her selfishness..or izit her fear of loving me again..i dunno...i want to forget...not because i dont love her...its because..it hurts so much to lover and not be with her...she ask me.."why me...i dont love u..why do this for me"...dosent she get it...with i'm going through..i still sacrifice for her..n it all went in vein...wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cry..i bleed...i'm depressed...i miss her...the sad truth is..i dun wanna go on fighting...illness..fate...or watever it is...i keep on telling myself.."focus on you"....but it dosent work...it hurts to be alone...know i understand ..the feeling of being alone...the feeling of not being wanted n abandoned.....i want my life back..i want to smile again..i want to be happy..i want to have a future....i want to be me again..but i cant...things are falling apart..n i have to face alone..n i know...millions of ppl are going through this..sum will say "things will b ok"..others " Life has to go on..n make the best out of it"..n then "ohwell...pray"...
It all fails...i need sum1...not any1...but sum1..to hold me...to be wit me..to say things tat mean sumthing n meant the world...not for pity..but for love..one of my closest fren said.."Use it as a guilt trip..but u'll nvr know wether she loves u onot"....pity is painful...i know 2 ppl who went through it...n it sux...they went through hell for that kinda love...i had the real thing..i lost it..i tried to get it back..but she didnt...so how?....neway...this blog aint all bout love...its also about wat i need the most...Time...for evrything...to slow dwn...so i can put the pieces of my life together...n solve the puzzle..which is" What do i want?"
Saturday, July 11, 2009
It's Been Awhile - Part 1
SupSup peeps...its been awhile...loads had happened since my last blog...from parties to assignments to drinkin sessions that led to many acts of stupidity...hehehehehe...let's start of wit my bday party...
First i wanna thank evry1 who attended...who got drunk wit me...n sorry to those whom i wasn't able to really entertain..the party was a blast....i got so drunk..that i actually forgot who came n wat i did...all n all..i drank..2 bottles of montoku,half a bottle of vodak n chivas...n 12 1 go cans of beer..by myself...damn...food was good..thx loads manzo...cake was nice...till it was oso shuved sumwer..ehem...i nickenamed alot ofppl apparently..sori for that..hihihi...it was alot of fun...that i had in a long time...
Sukau was awesome....was ther for 3 nights 4 days...for a WWF thingy...which was so cool...met loads of ppl..from FRANCE, EGYPT, ENGLAND, USA, AUSTRALIA, ITALY , HONGKONG and also CANADA. Very interesting bunch of ppl...shared many stories and experience...gotten a few emails...hot wei sum of them..itu yg bagus..the camp boys are as friendly as owez...mcm kwn lama yg lama x jumpa...we drank alot...leheng n beer...gotten a few of them drunk...then on the 3rd day...i followed the camp captain to their village...they were havin a local bazaar thingy...really fun..sumandak pun ada liao... i played soccer wit them...that was oso fun..fit gila eh they all..tapi i can bend it like beckham...muahaha...jk...all in all..syok gila...can't wait to back there again..the food was delicious...pancakes in the mornin...lamb stew by night...loads of wildlife encounters...ma'cacks, gibbons, birds, orang utans, reptillians n amfibians too...a large variety infact...sum venomous, sum hostile...sum really2 playful...hehehehe...dear reader...u should really go there...its really worthwhile..
Nxt up..is...golfin...i've decided to go back to pickin up serious golfin..really miss the energy n excitement actually...the serenity of hittin a perfect golf shot in the best condtions..played tto tournemants..1 was kinda hangin...coz it rained,the other was ok...1st one was at Dalit..the next day was at SGCC...Dalit was ok at first..playin 1 over for 4 holes..then at hole 5...was goin for mu third shot..then it started pourin....it was the ISUZU sponsered tournemant..at lease i got goodies...then the next one is the RINTIS MALAY golf tournemant..n the whole in 1 prizes were really gur..Ninja Kings...mercedez...n 10000 Purse...that's right...i played 82..which is 2 over my handicap..not bad for my first tournemant...but i tot i hit the longest drive...275 meters..carry...coz the pitch mark was nxt to my ball..then suddenly...at 277mtrs..the winner is..alex...waliu..must play wit him to c...seriously...but i was really gud to play...miss it...
That's all for now,,m kinda i a rush now...will continue soon...ciao...
First i wanna thank evry1 who attended...who got drunk wit me...n sorry to those whom i wasn't able to really entertain..the party was a blast....i got so drunk..that i actually forgot who came n wat i did...all n all..i drank..2 bottles of montoku,half a bottle of vodak n chivas...n 12 1 go cans of beer..by myself...damn...food was good..thx loads manzo...cake was nice...till it was oso shuved sumwer..ehem...i nickenamed alot ofppl apparently..sori for that..hihihi...it was alot of fun...that i had in a long time...
Sukau was awesome....was ther for 3 nights 4 days...for a WWF thingy...which was so cool...met loads of ppl..from FRANCE, EGYPT, ENGLAND, USA, AUSTRALIA, ITALY , HONGKONG and also CANADA. Very interesting bunch of ppl...shared many stories and experience...gotten a few emails...hot wei sum of them..itu yg bagus..the camp boys are as friendly as owez...mcm kwn lama yg lama x jumpa...we drank alot...leheng n beer...gotten a few of them drunk...then on the 3rd day...i followed the camp captain to their village...they were havin a local bazaar thingy...really fun..sumandak pun ada liao... i played soccer wit them...that was oso fun..fit gila eh they all..tapi i can bend it like beckham...muahaha...jk...all in all..syok gila...can't wait to back there again..the food was delicious...pancakes in the mornin...lamb stew by night...loads of wildlife encounters...ma'cacks, gibbons, birds, orang utans, reptillians n amfibians too...a large variety infact...sum venomous, sum hostile...sum really2 playful...hehehehe...dear reader...u should really go there...its really worthwhile..
Nxt up..is...golfin...i've decided to go back to pickin up serious golfin..really miss the energy n excitement actually...the serenity of hittin a perfect golf shot in the best condtions..played tto tournemants..1 was kinda hangin...coz it rained,the other was ok...1st one was at Dalit..the next day was at SGCC...Dalit was ok at first..playin 1 over for 4 holes..then at hole 5...was goin for mu third shot..then it started pourin....it was the ISUZU sponsered tournemant..at lease i got goodies...then the next one is the RINTIS MALAY golf tournemant..n the whole in 1 prizes were really gur..Ninja Kings...mercedez...n 10000 Purse...that's right...i played 82..which is 2 over my handicap..not bad for my first tournemant...but i tot i hit the longest drive...275 meters..carry...coz the pitch mark was nxt to my ball..then suddenly...at 277mtrs..the winner is..alex...waliu..must play wit him to c...seriously...but i was really gud to play...miss it...
That's all for now,,m kinda i a rush now...will continue soon...ciao...
Monday, May 4, 2009
Sum1 i misss so much.....i luv her...does she still love me ???
For the past few weeks...i've been missin her so much...nearly everythin i do...pretty much reminds me of her...i miss the times when she took care of me wen i was sick n feelin down...n the past 2 1/2 weeks wen i was sick...i was oso kinda depress....aaarrrrggghhh....wenevr i put on my playlist or listen to the radio..its either our favourite songs are playin....or songs that reminds me of her...
I no its been like.... 3 1/2 mnths....but....well...i still...really...really...really do love her...i cant stop thinkin about....i just cant get over her...n that actually makes me feel happy...n sad...happy that wenevr i think bout her...i do smile...sad that she aint goin to come back to me...or is she??..i don't no...at times i tell myself...she has moved on...found sum1....definitely...coz...i dun get a fon call..or an sms...but then wenever we c eachother...its just like oldtimes...but then i tell myself...this sounds like an off/on or just for kicks relationship...which i dont want at all...actually...i want wat was...which is the long term planning...where are we goin to live wen we grow old...thats wat i want...not call u wen i call u..or...c u nxt mnth kinda thingy..
Or izit wise not to contact her at all...at the same time...i want to...n i want her to call me..all the time...i cant be mad or jealous wen she has sum1 else to be wit..which i think she does...coz if she dosent...she would have kept her promises...but then again...i cant be mad or upset...i dont no whether she feels the same way about me...i hope she does...if she dosent...wat can i do...loads of ppl have been tellin me...whether they are family members or frens...just get over it...move on...then there are who tells me to give it time...u nvr no...coz u 2 love eachother...from their point of view...
So...i can say m on the fence...here's a song that kinda explains things...
You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror
Looking back at you
You say you're leavin
As you look away
I know theres really nothin left to say
Just know i'm here
Whenever you need me
I'll wait for you
So i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Take your time i wont go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you
Oh and i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
And i hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me
I can't get close if your not there
I can't get inside if theres no soul to bear
I can't fix you i can't save you
Its something you have to do
So i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Come back to me
So i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
And i hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me
More to come..ciao
I no its been like.... 3 1/2 mnths....but....well...i still...really...really...really do love her...i cant stop thinkin about....i just cant get over her...n that actually makes me feel happy...n sad...happy that wenevr i think bout her...i do smile...sad that she aint goin to come back to me...or is she??..i don't no...at times i tell myself...she has moved on...found sum1....definitely...coz...i dun get a fon call..or an sms...but then wenever we c eachother...its just like oldtimes...but then i tell myself...this sounds like an off/on or just for kicks relationship...which i dont want at all...actually...i want wat was...which is the long term planning...where are we goin to live wen we grow old...thats wat i want...not call u wen i call u..or...c u nxt mnth kinda thingy..
Or izit wise not to contact her at all...at the same time...i want to...n i want her to call me..all the time...i cant be mad or jealous wen she has sum1 else to be wit..which i think she does...coz if she dosent...she would have kept her promises...but then again...i cant be mad or upset...i dont no whether she feels the same way about me...i hope she does...if she dosent...wat can i do...loads of ppl have been tellin me...whether they are family members or frens...just get over it...move on...then there are who tells me to give it time...u nvr no...coz u 2 love eachother...from their point of view...
So...i can say m on the fence...here's a song that kinda explains things...
You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror
Looking back at you
You say you're leavin
As you look away
I know theres really nothin left to say
Just know i'm here
Whenever you need me
I'll wait for you
So i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Take your time i wont go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you
Oh and i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
And i hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me
I can't get close if your not there
I can't get inside if theres no soul to bear
I can't fix you i can't save you
Its something you have to do
So i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Come back to me
So i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
And i hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me
More to come..ciao
Monday, April 27, 2009
Hectic weeks ahead
Its gonna be 2 hectic weeks ahead...exams...n assignments...hmm..tough...ohwell...can get through it...then i mite be goin to kundasang..that should be interesting...but c how the crowd...skali2 boring...olale...tapi..if i go...ada 15ltr peter wella n shisha....hmm..muahahahaha
Update on Breathe Easy...we r gonna open our own stall...we aint gonna wait no more...its gonna be at the waterfront....middle area...comin to u guys soon..hehehehe...soon u guys will be able to enjoy the shisha service and ambiance that we got to offer...hehe...soon...hopefully be4 May 15...aite
More to come....ciao
Update on Breathe Easy...we r gonna open our own stall...we aint gonna wait no more...its gonna be at the waterfront....middle area...comin to u guys soon..hehehehe...soon u guys will be able to enjoy the shisha service and ambiance that we got to offer...hehe...soon...hopefully be4 May 15...aite
More to come....ciao
Friday, April 24, 2009
Olale
OOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEE.....so things just gets worst...not oni m diagnosed wit mums...but now our oppening date has been postponed...wtf wei..we r definitely gonna find sum other place...dun worry...our shisha service will be on...dun worry aite...
So now i got also got the fcukin mums...at lease the chances of cancer has been ruled out...YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH....but then...now i ahve a total of 8 diff meds that i have to take...that literally looks like freakin skittles...ohwell..i gotta do wat i gotta do...
So now i got also got the fcukin mums...at lease the chances of cancer has been ruled out...YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH....but then...now i ahve a total of 8 diff meds that i have to take...that literally looks like freakin skittles...ohwell..i gotta do wat i gotta do...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I'm Sick.....aaaaaaarrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhh
KKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....i have been sick for the past week an a half n it keeps on gettin worst...no work orstudyin has been really done..n besides that...the contract wt the loft has not been signed yet...i'll get to that ltr...i've been gettin rashes....my limfnotes are swollen...my skull is swollen...my throat is soar...my eys are red...my entire face is swollen and red...on top of that...high fever...like between 38 to 40....which kinda sux coz i cant get proper sleep....n my head hurts like i'm havin a constant migrain...tat sux coz its throughout the day...till now...evendough m on paikillers...antibiotics...anthihistamine....n so on...the pain decreases...but the other sympthoms gets worts...tiu.....from wat the dr's diagnosis is...a viral infection causing inflamation to my head...and also to my other body systems...causing irrational sympthoms...which kinda dosent add up...cause..according to the sympthoms...here are the worst case scenarios....limfoma....measels...somethin mono..were i gotta do a mono-spot test...but thats cear...then there are others...because of my blood work test...and oso other test indicates i got alot of stuff....ultimately..in conclusion...m pretty fcuked up...ohwell...n the meds...are not the cure...just to control...WTF???...becoz they cant find an answer of the cause and cure...they just give me sympthomatic meds to keep it under control...olale....wat to do..
The contract...the contract has been finished...now the only things is..we gotta go see the peeps at the loft...n because m sick..i cant go out...i gotta rely on my partners...n they are not showin that they are reliable at all this week....i mean...get to my house asap so i can tell them wat to do wen m not there...last minute...so many reasons...if today..they don fckin come to my place...i mite have to re-think things ovr on wat to say to them..coz the official opening is nxt week....and nothin is pretty much done yet...n from the looks of it...i'm the one who's gotta push...i told 1 of them d...we gotta do the work..but the good things is...they both are still enthusiastic about the business and really wanna do it...they just need the push....from the most unexpected person...who also needs the push to do stuff...lol...well...at lease i can say this dear reader...on the 29th...will be our official opening at the Loft...7.30...be there or be square...muahahaha...
More to come soon..ciao...
The contract...the contract has been finished...now the only things is..we gotta go see the peeps at the loft...n because m sick..i cant go out...i gotta rely on my partners...n they are not showin that they are reliable at all this week....i mean...get to my house asap so i can tell them wat to do wen m not there...last minute...so many reasons...if today..they don fckin come to my place...i mite have to re-think things ovr on wat to say to them..coz the official opening is nxt week....and nothin is pretty much done yet...n from the looks of it...i'm the one who's gotta push...i told 1 of them d...we gotta do the work..but the good things is...they both are still enthusiastic about the business and really wanna do it...they just need the push....from the most unexpected person...who also needs the push to do stuff...lol...well...at lease i can say this dear reader...on the 29th...will be our official opening at the Loft...7.30...be there or be square...muahahaha...
More to come soon..ciao...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
This dream actually made me smile...for a whole day...!!!
This was suppose to be my first blog....but i gotta make an intro..neway....
Saturday...i went to bed arnd 3.30...i think....had shisha testing wit frens at JJ's place...neway...i actually had a dream that made me smile throughout sunday...seriously...jj,khaled n jash was wit me....i explained the whole thing why the dream made me freakin smile....i'll explain that ltr...
Back to the dream...I started wit me runnin arnd this huge building...chasing after sumone...the closer i get ...i noticed...that sumone is a she...n there is always a corner that she turns...sumtimes runnin up the stairs...sumtimes runnin dwn...so i kept on chasin, close enough till i was able to hear her voice...but it was like she was havin a conversation...n i couldnt hear wat she was sayin...so i kept on chasin...till i reached an entrance..i think..it was a huge door...so i gave it a push to open...n then i saw the most unexpected person...she was sitting dwn starin at the moon...then wen i call her name out..she turned...n also had a surprise look...
So we chit chatted...before i move on ....i'll briefly tell wat happen between me n her in reality...we had a fall out...once we were as close as we could be...then we werent...n yup..she..for was the one who got away...we had a fall out coz of a stupid argument...k back to the dream...so we chit chatted aut about wat happend n why the fallout..n i sort of like poured my heart about my feelings...n the thing is...she did the same thing....so usually...its a happy ending...but....WWWWWWRRRRRRRROOOOONNNNNGGGG....she started tearin up n told me..." I luv u so much...i really do...at the same time...i really luv u also as a fren...i am so sorry..."..I sighed...n took it...the same thing happend 8 yrs ago...so its like..."Its ok...besides..we still can be frens..rite?..."..i asked...so she layed her head on my shoulders starin at the stars...so i kept on starin at her...wit the feelin so close..yet so far...then she gave a peck on the cheeck.. Then a kiss on the lips...then we sort of made out..i was thinkin....wawawewawa..hehehe...then she starts givin me a hickie...which was such a turnon...then...the most darnest thing happend...while givin me a hickie..my beard hair got stuck in her mouth..which was actually funny..in the dream..then we continued...THEN I WOKE UP...aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhh.....n i smiled the whole freakin day....seriously....
All i thought about was her...actually..even till now...thinkin bout her...i smile..n frown...haih...ohwelll wat to do... :(
More comin from ures trully...soon...ciao
Saturday...i went to bed arnd 3.30...i think....had shisha testing wit frens at JJ's place...neway...i actually had a dream that made me smile throughout sunday...seriously...jj,khaled n jash was wit me....i explained the whole thing why the dream made me freakin smile....i'll explain that ltr...
Back to the dream...I started wit me runnin arnd this huge building...chasing after sumone...the closer i get ...i noticed...that sumone is a she...n there is always a corner that she turns...sumtimes runnin up the stairs...sumtimes runnin dwn...so i kept on chasin, close enough till i was able to hear her voice...but it was like she was havin a conversation...n i couldnt hear wat she was sayin...so i kept on chasin...till i reached an entrance..i think..it was a huge door...so i gave it a push to open...n then i saw the most unexpected person...she was sitting dwn starin at the moon...then wen i call her name out..she turned...n also had a surprise look...
So we chit chatted...before i move on ....i'll briefly tell wat happen between me n her in reality...we had a fall out...once we were as close as we could be...then we werent...n yup..she..for was the one who got away...we had a fall out coz of a stupid argument...k back to the dream...so we chit chatted aut about wat happend n why the fallout..n i sort of like poured my heart about my feelings...n the thing is...she did the same thing....so usually...its a happy ending...but....WWWWWWRRRRRRRROOOOONNNNNGGGG....she started tearin up n told me..." I luv u so much...i really do...at the same time...i really luv u also as a fren...i am so sorry..."..I sighed...n took it...the same thing happend 8 yrs ago...so its like..."Its ok...besides..we still can be frens..rite?..."..i asked...so she layed her head on my shoulders starin at the stars...so i kept on starin at her...wit the feelin so close..yet so far...then she gave a peck on the cheeck.. Then a kiss on the lips...then we sort of made out..i was thinkin....wawawewawa..hehehe...then she starts givin me a hickie...which was such a turnon...then...the most darnest thing happend...while givin me a hickie..my beard hair got stuck in her mouth..which was actually funny..in the dream..then we continued...THEN I WOKE UP...aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhh.....n i smiled the whole freakin day....seriously....
All i thought about was her...actually..even till now...thinkin bout her...i smile..n frown...haih...ohwelll wat to do... :(
More comin from ures trully...soon...ciao
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Contents
This blog will contain...social...economical...enviromental..political..or even religious views....so viewer descretion is advised...also will contain...ME...hehehe
A year n a half is a long time....
It has been.. a year an a half since i've blogged...i wanted to blog on my old blogs...but then again...i just wanted sumthin new...so i created this blog....n bout the blog name...well..i chose many other names...nicer or cooler names...but the site keeps on sayin sumthin bout not available...so just for laughs...i typed...rajpaliscrazy...n i click continue...n the f****in website excepted it n proceeded..i was lol n wtf at the sametime...ohwell..for people who would be reading this..will know that the title sort of suits me.....i guess....???....
Many things had happened over the past year n a half...love n lost...graduated, made new friends..tried new things...been to many places...had dwnfalls...but most importantly....i'm havin fun..so far...n life is pretty good i guess...now m goin through my HND wit not so much difficulty, which is a good thing...but at the same time, i feel as though sumthins off....dont know what but i want to find out before its too late...
I think i shall make my first blog for this page...a simple one...so, where shall i start....love n lost??... Yup..for those who know me...u met her...we found eachother, it was the sweetest thing..till it ended...mutually but sad...well...that's a memory that will be nice to think bout...Been to many places...have been travellin alot domesticly n been to Jakarta,Indonesia baby...it was relaxin...n adventures i suppose...tried stuff...all worth it...hehehe.aint gonna tell though...hehehe...went island hoppin....sukau....met the locals...orang utans, pigmy elephants....n the naughty rascal ma'cacks..all n all...it was a damn good travellin year...let's see now...dwnfalls??...flunked a paper...been there...faught...wit 15 ppl...resulted into a fractured rib...n ppl called it Left For Dead..well...if u c the vid they saw...it kinda was...from no were...they came out like zombies gone berserk...n the worst part...i was tryin to be peacemaker...n look wat i got...haih...anyway...Met loads of new ppl from all walks of life from around the wolr....from china to egypt...from USA to Queesland...awesome..peeps...good drinkers...party animals...
Worked for freelance event companies...which was really fun...met interesting poeple...organized interesting activities...n bartended sum of those...n i worked or The Polish Embassy for a week...which was funny...coz...ppl keep on passin by sayin i look polish...i was like...BETUL BAH...adedededede...then sum say i look indian...i told them my parents migrated from india to live in Warsaw....n they freakin bought it...aiyoyoyo..then there were UMS students...they were actually doin a research paper on foreign international trade...so thay came to my booth..durin the sabah international expo...n they ask me alot of questions....n they assume i was from poland....we chit chatted...n i actually got a number...coz they wanted me to present to them at UMS..i was like...k la...to far oledi this...then i said this...the best part..they were cute chix..hehe..n nervous..so i said this.."Kamu rang org KK kah? "..They stared at me n asked me in english " Wau...u can speak bm..that's very good"..I WAS LIKE....ASTAGA.....then i reapeated myself..." Kamu sumandak dari mana geng?"...then they were staring at me..then asked me.." Who thought u the slang.."...i was then again..wtf wei...okok...so i told them i leaned it from school...they were still lost..then i said SM ALLSAINTS.. (best high school..period)...one of them ask me.." Were a foreign exchange student?"...Then i couldnt stop laughing anymore..they were talkin in bm to eachother...sayin " Pandai juga ini org putih ni..."...then i turned to them n said...SAYA ORG KK BAH...adedededededede....they screamed PU****..TILL the security guard came..had laughs...then..kept the number..hehehe
Ohwell...interesting life i guess...went on a roadtrip..Karanbunai...i really needed it..n the best part..i was wit good company...my cousin n 2 old frens from primary school through highschool...which was good...n we finished a btl of whisket...vodka...a huge box of cococrunch..n peanut butter cookies...the time there was great...cant wait for the next road trip...
Me..JJ...n Khaled have started our own shisha service business...at The Loft...good feedback..cant wait for openin day...hehe..so be there k dear reader...or be square..hihi...anyway...till here i'll write for now...more to come soon..hehehe...ciao.."Breathe easy..."
Many things had happened over the past year n a half...love n lost...graduated, made new friends..tried new things...been to many places...had dwnfalls...but most importantly....i'm havin fun..so far...n life is pretty good i guess...now m goin through my HND wit not so much difficulty, which is a good thing...but at the same time, i feel as though sumthins off....dont know what but i want to find out before its too late...
I think i shall make my first blog for this page...a simple one...so, where shall i start....love n lost??... Yup..for those who know me...u met her...we found eachother, it was the sweetest thing..till it ended...mutually but sad...well...that's a memory that will be nice to think bout...Been to many places...have been travellin alot domesticly n been to Jakarta,Indonesia baby...it was relaxin...n adventures i suppose...tried stuff...all worth it...hehehe.aint gonna tell though...hehehe...went island hoppin....sukau....met the locals...orang utans, pigmy elephants....n the naughty rascal ma'cacks..all n all...it was a damn good travellin year...let's see now...dwnfalls??...flunked a paper...been there...faught...wit 15 ppl...resulted into a fractured rib...n ppl called it Left For Dead..well...if u c the vid they saw...it kinda was...from no were...they came out like zombies gone berserk...n the worst part...i was tryin to be peacemaker...n look wat i got...haih...anyway...Met loads of new ppl from all walks of life from around the wolr....from china to egypt...from USA to Queesland...awesome..peeps...good drinkers...party animals...
Worked for freelance event companies...which was really fun...met interesting poeple...organized interesting activities...n bartended sum of those...n i worked or The Polish Embassy for a week...which was funny...coz...ppl keep on passin by sayin i look polish...i was like...BETUL BAH...adedededede...then sum say i look indian...i told them my parents migrated from india to live in Warsaw....n they freakin bought it...aiyoyoyo..then there were UMS students...they were actually doin a research paper on foreign international trade...so thay came to my booth..durin the sabah international expo...n they ask me alot of questions....n they assume i was from poland....we chit chatted...n i actually got a number...coz they wanted me to present to them at UMS..i was like...k la...to far oledi this...then i said this...the best part..they were cute chix..hehe..n nervous..so i said this.."Kamu rang org KK kah? "..They stared at me n asked me in english " Wau...u can speak bm..that's very good"..I WAS LIKE....ASTAGA.....then i reapeated myself..." Kamu sumandak dari mana geng?"...then they were staring at me..then asked me.." Who thought u the slang.."...i was then again..wtf wei...okok...so i told them i leaned it from school...they were still lost..then i said SM ALLSAINTS.. (best high school..period)...one of them ask me.." Were a foreign exchange student?"...Then i couldnt stop laughing anymore..they were talkin in bm to eachother...sayin " Pandai juga ini org putih ni..."...then i turned to them n said...SAYA ORG KK BAH...adedededededede....they screamed PU****..TILL the security guard came..had laughs...then..kept the number..hehehe
Ohwell...interesting life i guess...went on a roadtrip..Karanbunai...i really needed it..n the best part..i was wit good company...my cousin n 2 old frens from primary school through highschool...which was good...n we finished a btl of whisket...vodka...a huge box of cococrunch..n peanut butter cookies...the time there was great...cant wait for the next road trip...
Me..JJ...n Khaled have started our own shisha service business...at The Loft...good feedback..cant wait for openin day...hehe..so be there k dear reader...or be square..hihi...anyway...till here i'll write for now...more to come soon..hehehe...ciao.."Breathe easy..."
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